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☆燃烧De青春☆我的青春燃烧在SYDNEY蔚蓝的天空下…… 8/31/2008 fuck the truth“Hey, do you know why she deleted me from MSN?” “I don’t know. But how do you know that” “I have this program that allows me to see who has deleted or blocked me” “That’s creepy…but what kinda program is that? I wanna try it later too” In the end, I got the program but somehow couldn’t open it. It’s probably better this way, I think. Why would I wanna know who doesn’t like me and has been ignoring me. That’s gotta hurt! In fact why would anyone wanna know it? Surprisingly, people do. Even if they live in a life that appear to be perfect, they try their best to discover the “truth” behind it, risking the chance that the “truth” might not be as good and it could ruin the beautiful bubble you have. Are we stupid? Why are we so fascinated about the “truth” and disregard the sweet dream we are living now? After all, we as human beings, only have a few decades life. Beyond that, it’s a different story. It’s not really a long time, if you think about it. During this time, should we live in the real pain or fake happiness? Provided here “happiness” means physical and spiritual pleasure, why not! As journalists, one of most important our professional norms is to strike for the truth. But is it really that important? Especially when most of the time, the truth is the most devastating. I believe telling someone who is fully devoted in the dream that everything is just virtual and will vanish shortly as he wakes up is a very cruel thing, which makes no difference as to tell the patient that he’s got cancer and can only live 6 weeks. It takes all the joy away, immediately, which is why I think a lot of the times it’s not that people don’t know the truth, it’s that they don’t wanna know the truth, they’d rather continue their fancy little dream. If so, who are we to force them to face the truth? I personally don’t mind being lied to. Because if someone tells a lie, there is always a reason behind it. Either it would be good to me, or him. What’s the problem, as long as I never find out the fact that it is actually a lie. So if you lie to me, you better lie good. Only stupid people would come around and let the truth get on their nerve. 8/28/2008 the big Mthe good thing about working in maccas is that, there is always a high volume of customers, so you get to meet all kinds of people, couples, families, drunk, psychos, you name it and i've seen them. it could be a pain in the ass to deal with their unreasonable demands, but other times it was good fun to have a laugh at them too, cause they are such idiots haha. like tonight, i think it was because that they just raised the price of a lot of the product, i had an increasing number of queries about the bill. one of them just couldn't take the fact that yesterday he could spend less than $10 and have a luxury meal, today it just cost extra $2. after checking the order with me twice, the poor guys was simply devastated by the reality and had to ask to me hold his food for him to get back to his car and take that 2 extra dollars. the guy waiting behind him, had a nice smile and the clumsy way he acted when i handed over him the ice-cream was kinda cute. so i kinda had my eyes on him, until...i found that he didn't clean his own table after dining, then i say, forget it. then you have the couples coming in at 9pm for dinner or a snack. the way they talk to each other just seems so casual yet sweet. it makes me smile and wonder what it's like to have a company, speaking of which i have still completely no progress. simply because up until now, my social life basically maintained inactive. it is indeed annoying, but another thing is that school seems especially intensive this semester, whether or not as a result of me coming back a week later. i can't believe we are in 5th week already...geee stuffed by school and work i find myself hardly have any time or energy to pursue anything else. but still, i'm needing some "action" ;) 8/26/2008 another ordinary daytoday, I went to another open recruitment after university. the place is right opposite to coogee beach. great location, hopefully I'll get something out of it. wish me luck even if not, things are looking up, my friend. guess I've found myself back and got rid of the uncomfortable adjusting phase. can't wait for summer to start. I have so many plans! 8/24/2008 新的一章有段时间没有更新了吧,期间看到linxi同学和潘婷的不间断更新总有一种羡慕的感觉,觉得自己怎么就没有这个持之以恒的能力呢。hummm于是决定重新开张,开始新的一页。 说起来,这个时机倒是挺好的,一穷二白,以后的任何事都算是值得记录的一笔吧。 好了,从今天说起。终于完成了记录阿根廷之行点点滴滴的一个小短片。转眼半年了,算是对这次旅行的一次追忆吧,从侧面其实也说明了我对当前在悉尼的生活的不满。第一时间上传到youtube上,接着便招呼能想到的所有有关的朋友去捧场,呵呵,大家的赞扬还真是让我飘起来了呢。话说制作的过程,我就像又重新经历了一遍那些精彩刺激的冒险,于是便更加坚定了我毕业后转战南美的决心。有人有兴趣观摩的话,链接在这里http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dBFB2xh8sr8 新买的手机有拍照功能,不用特地背个照相机像个backpacker一样煞有介事的拍摄中人早已系以为然的景物,这大大提高了我用图片记录生活的兴趣(主要是我拿个手机,他也不知道我是在发短信还是在照相,恩,很好,很有隐蔽性)。
去超市买东西,明明没有多少,不知道为什么还是玩了很多钱,马的! 晚上回来,终于给某个同学打了招呼,让他做我的job referee。说起来真是太丢脸了,找了这么多年的工作还是没找到,每次都还要麻烦人家~~~~真是难为情啊!所以老天,就保佑我找到一份称心的工作吧,不要再在麦当劳了! 刚才称体重,56.3 yeah~~~~~减肥略有小成,不过我还没吃晚饭 :P 好了现在去吃,灯下还要写法语 merde! 5/26/2008 我的幸福在哪里刚才看到一个女孩花7年时间到追得帖子,突然有感而发吧…… 发现自己已经不可能有这么大勇气去追求所谓的爱情了,自从那一次的疯狂以后,也不可能那么无所顾忌的去喜欢一个人了吧。也不知道这样是好还是不好。现在基本上的情况时,很容易的喜欢一个人,却有潜意识的不让自己先得过深,而避免受到伤害--我喜欢你,你看着办吧,行就行,不行就拉倒。我会抽身而去,并在走过场的伤心一下之后,很快得遗忘,then prepare myself to embrace the next story。然而,纵使小心翼翼,我也并不是抗拒再次开启那些炙热的感情,只是,很难再碰到能令我这么做的人了而已。but as i always say, if it happens, very nice, surprise me! 回想起来,上一次感觉到这种冲动,是在BAs那个热闹不息的hostel里。只是尽管当初一样的迷恋,执著,仅仅四个月之后,我却已经对故事的主人公嗤之以鼻。这与6年的念念不忘是不一样的。也许下一次的感情会更经不起考验。可是现在更让我好奇的是,what/who will come along next。因为根据我对自己这近一年经历的回顾,我竟然发现,每隔一段时间,我的生活里就会出现新的目标,而且频率还蛮高的。所以我觉得担心没有感情宣泄的对象根本是多余的,还不如乘这段间歇期好好放松一下自己的神经,调整一下生活的重心,为下一个战役的到来作准备。说是战役,其实一点都不夸张,没有福气享受别人追求的我,注定要fight for my own happiness。可是,我却没有那样的勇气向那个女孩一样花7的的时间,承受期间的痛苦,挫折去那么的认定一个人,即使告诉我最后能修成正果也不行。那么,说与我的幸福究竟在哪里呢?在不远的将来,真得有一个人在等着我么? Ps.开始后悔在中学的时候没有大大方方的喜欢过一个人(貌似我现在也不行,总是扭扭捏捏的,我妈就这么说我),而现在一切都太晚了,我已经不再是原来的那个我,生活的也是一个完全不同的世界。作为一个外来者,我不太清楚这里的行为准则,又怎么在这个世界里寻找幸福。sometimes i wonder what if I'd stayed in china, would it be any easier... 4/27/2008 少年游Despite whether you like it or not, once you are somewhere on holidays, no matter how much you like it or how much time you are spending on it, sooner or later it’ll all come to an end. It is the time people wake up from their dream-like getaway and go back to their ordinary boring life in reality, lost, confused or reluctant. The only way to avoid it though, is to take on a holiday that is a lifetime long, dare you do it? Most of us realise the fact that we have quite limited time to be in this world, and therefore we are obligated to live it to the most extend. However in fact once we emerge ourselves in the society, we can’t help being dragged into this huge production machine, spending time and energy on things that seem to be but are actually not essential to us. The running of this machine is fast that we are left no time to think about what all of this mean to us, especially as individuals, in our limited life. Sometimes the notion that we are born in such beautiful planet and yet hardly get a chance to see its beauty makes me frustrated. Well considering it’s not such a easy probability to be born and even harder to be born again, I would hate myself if I wasted this precious opportunity. Fortune and fame are bullshit that in the end means nothing. And ordinary people, like us, are so powerless of the pursuit of powerful that if we don't try to get ourselves out of it, we are doomed to be used as the nameless numbers, maybe rounded, or kept a few digits after decimal point if we are lucky. Therefore I have decided to delicate myself to travelling, to the pursuit of love and beauty. As for those who question my motivation, I have no shame to admit that the beauty of humankind also attracts me and I long for it. So far on my itinerary are Europe, Thailand, South America and Africa. I give myself 10 years to complete this list, that is before I’m 30. After that, I have no way to presume, things may change, so is my perspective of life. I really hope I could spend a few days living in South America, like what I’m doing in Australia. Then I’d go to Africa with that special someone, of course if I couldn’t find this person, it’s quiet possible that I end up going by myself, which is also fine. |
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